WHAT LOVE HATH WROUGHT

Photo nicked from Melissa at Empress of Dirt

Memes. Tags. The games bloggers play to exercise their writing skills and frankly display their lifetime accumulation of intimate oddities has been around since the interweb got bulkier than gossamer.

This particular tag came to me from Red Dirt Girl in a convoluted game of using my name nicked from Minx to admonish her for failing her duty to pass on her Amazing Blogger Award to seven others as part of earning it. So she promptly hit my pseudonym with the tag with no idea of who I was or how amazing the blog of Ike Onoclast might be. I complied with her demands in the comment section of her post about the award just for the fun of it which only piqued her penchant for intrigue. She showed up in the comments on the Why post below sussing me out and demanding seven real amazing facts about myself. I actually had typed out the list below before realizing that she had given me no award and that to do so after the fact wouldn’t be the same, which is fine with me. I’m just having fun and I get the sneaking suspicion she is too. With no further ado

1) I have not seen a doctor, nor needed to, since my hypochondriac, registered nurse wife went home to her mother thirty-five years ago. Proper diet and homeopathy have succeeded where junk food and the AMA failed with regularity.

2) I have not owned or driven a car for thirty-one years, with two exceptions in emergency situations.

3) I have been celibate for the past twenty years in an ongoing experiment to learn if sex would arise without my initiation of the act, leaving me with the unavoidable impression that I am not sexually attractive or that I am attracted to women dedicated to the same experiment. Playing hard to get and succeeding too well.

4) I have lived nineteen months naked in a tipi in the wild, albeit owned lands.

5) I witnessed the night long labor of a friend’s natural childbirth resulting in a new life opening its eyes for the first time to see sun peek simultaneously over the horizon, followed momentarily by the shadow of a curious cow come to look in the window.

6) I have seen two different UFOs close enough to see silhouettes of beings inside moving across lighted panels and fell asleep watching a third dashing to and fro across distant mountains.

7) I survived being caught sailing from Pascagoula across the gulf to Tampa by a minor hurricane which, in the middle of pitch black chaos, caused me to leap to the conclusion that there might possibly be a god. When the thirty foot seas remained after the winds died to batter my boat like a pebble in a maraca I let its namesake, Aeolus, have all the screaming insanity that emergency prolonged over two days can build with both blaspheming barrels.

There is an amazing corollary to the first three in the list above: with out a car, doctor or persuasive pursuit of wimmin I have lived quite luxuriously below the United States’ poverty level for twenty of the last thirty years. I have satisfied myself with the truth in the phrase, “The measure of a man’s true wealth is the things he can live without.” and the reality in the quote, “I can cover the earth in leather or wear my own shoes.”

I feel no obligation to pass this tag on, its having arrived here by accidental shenanigans and playful intrigue with a long stemmed sweetheart.