Friday, December 07, 2007


Photo nicked from Melissa at Empress of Dirt

Memes. Tags. The games bloggers play to exercise their writing skills and frankly display their lifetime accumulation of intimate oddities has been around since the interweb got bulkier than gossamer.

This particular tag came to me from Red Dirt Girl in a convoluted game of using my name nicked from Minx to admonish her for failing her duty to pass on her Amazing Blogger Award to seven others as part of earning it. So she promptly hit my pseudonym with the tag with no idea of who I was or how amazing the blog of Ike Onoclast might be. I complied with her demands in the comment section of her post about the award just for the fun of it which only piqued her penchant for intrigue. She showed up in the comments on the Why post below sussing me out and demanding seven real amazing facts about myself. I actually had typed out the list below before realizing that she had given me no award and that to do so after the fact wouldn’t be the same, which is fine with me. I’m just having fun and I get the sneaking suspicion she is too. With no further ado

1) I have not seen a doctor, nor needed to, since my hypochondriac, registered nurse wife went home to her mother thirty-five years ago. Proper diet and homeopathy have succeeded where junk food and the AMA failed with regularity.

2) I have not owned or driven a car for thirty-one years, with two exceptions in emergency situations.

3) I have been celibate for the past twenty years in an ongoing experiment to learn if sex would arise without my initiation of the act, leaving me with the unavoidable impression that I am not sexually attractive or that I am attracted to women dedicated to the same experiment. Playing hard to get and succeeding too well.

4) I have lived nineteen months naked in a tipi in the wild, albeit owned lands.

5) I witnessed the night long labor of a friend’s natural childbirth resulting in a new life opening its eyes for the first time to see sun peek simultaneously over the horizon, followed momentarily by the shadow of a curious cow come to look in the window.

6) I have seen two different UFOs close enough to see silhouettes of beings inside moving across lighted panels and fell asleep watching a third dashing to and fro across distant mountains.

7) I survived being caught sailing from Pascagoula across the gulf to Tampa by a minor hurricane which, in the middle of pitch black chaos, caused me to leap to the conclusion that there might possibly be a god. When the thirty foot seas remained after the winds died to batter my boat like a pebble in a maraca I let its namesake, Aeolus, have all the screaming insanity that emergency prolonged over two days can build with both blaspheming barrels.

There is an amazing corollary to the first three in the list above: with out a car, doctor or persuasive pursuit of wimmin I have lived quite luxuriously below the United States’ poverty level for twenty of the last thirty years. I have satisfied myself with the truth in the phrase, “The measure of a man’s true wealth is the things he can live without.” and the reality in the quote, “I can cover the earth in leather or wear my own shoes.”

I feel no obligation to pass this tag on, its having arrived here by accidental shenanigans and playful intrigue with a long stemmed sweetheart.


Anonymous said...

BEAUTIFUL ..... absolutely BEAUTIFUL.....(and amazing ??? i'm not sure i could go without sex...)

I knew from the first it had to be you .... but I must confess, as a life long cheater, I did get help from a certain minx...

well, love, you are to CLAIM your prize: simply copy from my own site and paste onto yours ..... but I will rectify that oversight of mine immediately ...

and THANK YOU for the fun and intriguing play ... I just love hide and seek ...


gregra&gar said...

As I said in the post, this wasn't about the award, nor do I want to victimize seven others with the chore, because I find anyone able to honor their own thoughts as worthy of expression to be amazing.

steve said...

That was pretty good G&G...
i have been almost 4 years without a car and it has been a freed1om like I have never known.
With great reluctance I am back to driving a car and dodging the many lunatics on the road these days
I hate it.

Minx said...

You bugger! I gave you a lecture and I apologise.

So in short you are a healthy, perambulating, naked sailor with a sideline in midwifery and too much acid!

gregra&gar said...

Hi Steve,
Please don't mistake my celibacy for an excuse for your confession. Your addiction is a personal problem the doing without which you already understand the benefits.
Oh what the hell, say twenty public transportations, five bi (ten) cycles, and two work from homes and try not to run anyone over.

What lecture? No apology ever required or desired, dear.

You so deftly included five of my seven amazing facts in your synoptic description of your view of me due to the blog, leaving UFOs and celibacy to fight over too much acid. LMAO. So, just guessing, you assume UFOs are acid induced hallucinations or that "too much acid" left me incapable of the sex act. Leaving only two other descriptive words to cover celibacy if acid covered UFOs:

1) "Bugger" being what many celibate priests have been found to be lately, should you suppose that refusing to lie for a lay in the hay indicates latent homosexuality or

2) "In short you are …" may be a reference to the possibility that I may not be sexually attractive in the pornographic sense.

It is also possible that you omitted direct reference to my voluntary abstinence from non-mutual sexual relations out of a sense of proper decorum. Having followed your blog and comments thereabout, I doubt this last mightily. I hope you come back and clarify.

Princess Haiku said...

I found you via RDG and enjoyed the individualism in your post. The gas thing has preoccupied my thinking lately. I live in a place where I have to drive on the freeway and as a result have decided to move again for yet another time. Congratulations on your oil free years and serving as a good example.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Wonderful post! Certainly not an ordinary life - definitely a rich life.

Minx said...

Heh - proper decorum. I am not generally known for this although I believe I hang somewhere on the edge on occasion.
My throw away comment about acid in summing up your 7 facts was exactly that. I am not pompous enough to believe that we are the only species in existence and your sexual orientation/preference/timing are part of your experiment in this life. The collision of flesh is a much overated, though highly enjoyable pastime but my personal love buttons are more likely to be pushed by a honed mind rather than an attractive husk. I fall in lust with blogging minds all the time!

Btw, 'You bugger' is often used as an English term of affectionate admonishment. Maybe this does not translate so well across the pond that divides us?
Other uses might include..

'Bugger off' - please go away.
'Oh bugger!' - after just hitting thumb with a hammer.

...and should not be confused with buggery of the anal type.

gregra&gar said...

Welcome, Princess Haiku
I too found you through RDG many months ago and have enjoyed your musings. May I link to you? Thanks also for appreciation of the idea of individualism itself, much less for my version. Without it, contributions to the collective are drains. The Hindu minahana, little boat, must be mastered before taking up an oar in mahayana, big boat.

Absonilla, thanks for recognizing the wealth money cannot buy, force wrest away nor deceit steal.

Minxy, Thanks for the clarification. My London born grandmother filled me in quite well with British jargon and slang, I was just havin' a bit'o fun with ye, lass, as ye with me.

I'm not so sure about the collision of the flesh being so over rated as it is under appreciated. My decision to let sex "just happen" on a mutual basis rather than be the predator/prey, itch/scratch sell/buy perspective dominating my initial relationship with women was two-fold: one was that alcohol seemed to have become a required social lubricant far too often in the single world after AIDS slammed the book on flower power and free love, shrivelling the experience into more a masturbatory performance swap than the tantric union I know it can be. Secondly, because the sexual aspect seemed to keep my "love buttons (which) are more likely to be pushed by a honed mind" in the background.

~~ Melissa said...

"...or that I am attracted to women dedicated to the same experiment." succeeded in making me laugh suddenly and hard enough to snort. And then entertain the idea that it could indeed be happening. Thank you!