Friday, August 24, 2007


Winter in Alaska, one supposes

Like many of my posts, this is an overgrown comment in response to questions after my own heart by a blog bud, this one is of exceptional character in that, like my very life, I cannot stop coming back and revising it with fresh insights, like a flower following the sun. I will pin this post here for the rest of the month for public display of its gestation, rather than do a chapter two:


Red Dirt Girl, you are welcomed to quote away to your heart’s content. Better yet, just synthesize what resonates into whatever it resonates. I have two full pages back in my to-be-posted file that began as an attempt to give a comment sized answer to your evocative — evocative hell — they are all the very same question that drives all the other curiosities ecstatically indulged by the corporeal entity that types this reply.

Truth is not found in civilization’s versions, the facts of what (agreed language and description), where (point to a place or map and agree), when (point to a star or calendar and agree), who (point to a person or group and agree) or how (we have owners manuals for everything but nature, though religion has their books, scientists still agree they are theorizing, albeit with full knowledge of who pays their checks). All those questions seek to dissolve, correct or enhance civilization’s misguiding myth.

Truth is observed best with no questions at all, but for the sake of answers, only through the question of why, because we can’t point at it with our fingers and words from our minds either glance off or become absorbed in its indescribable lack of intention. Why are metaphors so beautifully simplifying and so infinitely plentiful? Why does the truth of existence appear clearer the more I identify with either the body of which this body is but a cell or the cells that make up this body? As above, so below. And we, always in the middle, make our own meanings, our own paintings of a pipe.

The endlessness of the questions in answer to cosmology of why may be the essence of life, the noticer of extremes we call consciousness, the unbearable insufficiency of our words to do more than caress something they can never capture. But that is personal truth I have and, by its nature being the way of everything, will forever inadequately describe. Maybe.

As for the interweb holoscan as a source of things in which belief may be invested so that righteousness may be assumed or sides may be taken come hell or high water — forget that. I find it to be distracting to build theories (the closest I come to belief, or describable truth) based on the desire for certainty, infallible bedrocks of unshakable faith against the evolutionary stream of all future experience to the contrary.

I like theories, lots of different ones, continually free to find resonance to all my experience, to taste the spices and test the spin in all the information. When they begin to coagulate around a pet set of purring premises my curiosity sets off an alarm that it has become forbidden its customary stroll through now heretical neighborhoods on early curfew. Vivé l’varietié.

Wisdom says understand the heretics of civilization, and see the sodden mob they insist on dragging into the future clinging to blinding beliefs in creationism, god granted ownership of all we survey, worshiping our godlike fucking with everything on this edenic planet, manifest destiny, etc. I am working on the big momma theory of all theories that can make peace with war, and lies, and soulless people-users profiting from their power to create fear and salivation whenever they ring their terrorist bells — but they keep blowing it up, or was that my bell?


Anonymous said...

have kid duties at the moment, but I promise I will be back !!!!! too much to absorb and think about in just a glance ..... plus i need to put my own thoughts in order .....

lovely words, G&G ..... provocative.

Anonymous said...

This is just one of what will probably be a series of responses and questions. Probably more questions than answers.

But as I child, I grew up in a House of Secrets; therefore, I became an ardent truth seeker. I needed strict boundaries of right and wrong to live within - I hated the deceptions that swirled around me. So, I suppose I am saying that children need 'black and white', not ambiguity during their formative years. Maybe because ambiguity is too large, like a universe, no horizon to latch onto, free fall and free floating - too scary to comprehend in a young mind. I see how the ambiguity of our (me and my kids) future frightens them at the moment. I want to give them black and white. You and I both know the futility of that ...

gregra&gar said...

Welcome back, Red,

If anyone is based in the unknown, it is as a newborn. From the beginning it is ambiguity to the n'th power at each encounter with what they expect to be themselves that reacts as if another. That nipple is ours even though it seems to be attached to some thing alien that gets upset with us. Oh, so not even the nipple is mine. Who needs it?

To compensate for the realization that all we survey is not ours we are taught that love is our connection — or not! Civilization wants black and white, separate and usable as a dynamic like direction on a car to steer the citizenry. It is fine to let children know about the black and white fixation of their culture as a way to comprehend the indifferent regimentation handed down but also as an aberration, a lousey approximation to the infinitely variable nature within and without our skins.

Truth is not concrete and suffers no debate without infinite sides. It is what remains obvious after frustrated feeble attempts to capture it with artifice are exhausted. Coming into the b/w world of belief and lies may be the biggest disappointment, the biggest warp in the nature of a child. Deception is most obvious to younger children because the verbal language of the lie is not near so obvious as the old standby, body language. The lies necessary to provide a black and white world for children should create heretics of them all, save for their need to be loved and belong and the threat of alienation and the unknown which makes sycophants of us all, as only too well known by parents when they withhold affection as manipulation tool.

Most children buy the cultural story just to get along and play the games with its believers. Being shown the myth by self-realized parents at an early age will keep the child's mind aware of the difference between civilization and nature.

Another deep subject, dear.

how 'bout dem Dodgers?

Anonymous said...

smile. sigh. dodgers ? umm, my knowledge of baseball seems to be limited to reaching first base, then second, will i let him get to third ? oh noooo - never the home run ....

late. i'm tired. not trying to be facetious. i wish as a child someone like you had come along and explained some of the dysfunction to me. However, you are most correct: the need to be loved, be part of the group / family; accepted definitely overruled what i saw to be 'true' or another version than what was being fed to me .... so yes, the need to belong is definitely a huge cultural push.

As i age, the need lessons. but i would be lying if i said it affects me not at all ... i still need. i still want love. i still question truth. i still want honesty in a mate. i still need sex - tantric or not. so ..... i guess i'm not so enlightened after all.

didn't the braves shut the dodgers out 3 to 1 last week ???